(A COVID-19 Story – Part 1 of 2)
by Edward R. Pulidindi

Wife: “AMG! honey have you heard? ALL flights have been Terminated due to COVID-19?”

Me: “Passengers at this time we ask that you kindly return to your seats and ensure that your seatbelt is securely fastened. Tray table stowed away, and that your seat back is in its upright position. The duration of your flight time is unknown and be prepared to experience turbulence. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

2020 A.D. will be remembered as the year that Terminated a lot of things. One of the first things Terminated were Domestic and International flights.

6 months ago, Judgement Day: January 23, 2020, on this day we were visiting my wife’s family on vacation in Kathmandu, Nepal; home of Mount Everest, The Himalayas, and a country which borders China on the map. Breaking news about the Coronavirus is happening in Wuhan, China. My Grandmother-in-law translated the news to us that morning from the Kathmandu Post.

Our 24-hour return flight home departed that evening from Tribhuvan International Airport. Fly Emirates is loading. Unable to connect to Wi-Fi. Webpage unable to display. Priority boarding pass unable to download. Analysis. Must perform manual override. Human senses enabled.

Visual assessment performed upon entering Tribhuvan International Airport. Must approach ticketing counter. Must risk deadly computer virus. “Don’t you mean, Coronavirus?” Next stop, Dubai International Airport. “Don’t you mean, Skynet?”

Upon arrival my wife and I book up and down Skynet-Dubai International. We absolutely cannot find a bar to save our lives. The only bars we find inside of Skynet are golden, shiny, and come with a certificate of authenticity. With no alcohol in my CPU, human emotions are enabled, and confusion sets in. An announcement was made around midnight at Skynet-Dubai International,

“May we have your attention. All passengers travelling on flights to and from Wuhan, China; may we have your attention please. All incoming and outgoing flights to and from Wuhan, China have been Terminated, the Coronavirus.”

Boarding our flight back to Baltimore-Washington International (BWI) Airport social distancing kicks in. The Smart Hosts look at me, methodically, and I begin to see a pattern developing. I sense their defense systems have been activated, and I activate mine. Another head locks their set of bright red pupils on me as I march to my seat, the Cyborg runs their scan on me. Defense systems neutralized. The Cyborg returns to scanning their Smart Phone device? I spend the next 14 hours ruminating about these new, advanced Smart Terminators till we reach our destination, home.

2 months later, March 2020; Maryland State Governor, Larry Hogan announced the beginning of Phase One for all Maryland residents, and so commenced the beginning of 2020’s Coronavirus terminations. To protect yourself from a possible infection, the CDC recommends:

Stay home when you are sick, avoid close contact with people who are sick.

Practice social distance.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

Cover your cough or sneeze with a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash.

Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects
and surfaces using a regular household cleaning spray or wipe.

Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after going to the bathroom; before eating; and after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing.

Present day, The Smart Era: late in evening. I am in the living room watching the NBA Playoffs on my Smart TV. The game cuts to an ad. Southwest Airlines, Wanna Get Away?

Human senses enabled. What. I didn’t authorize. “Ok, Google?” “HEY, GOOGLE!” Damn Smart Speakers must be on the fritz again. Voice commands must be disabled. Must perform manual override.

Select Smart Home. Select secure, arming now…

Ensure Smart Car is plugged in. Must perform manual override. Get up and go downstairs. Enter garage. All systems set to charge. Select software update, installing now. All set.

Go upstairs, hop in bed. Get comfortable and lay down. Scan. Select Smart Bike, select ride. Pick instructor. class scheduled and confirmed at 0700 hours.

Reach over and plug in Smart Phone to wall charger. Lay back. Open my eyes, sleep mode enabled. Hasta la vista baby…